The Middle East - God's Jock Itch

Tuesday, January 31, 2006

Iran angry at U.N. council move... Damn cry baby

Thursday, January 26, 2006

the GAZA strip





From the creative minds that brought you Memowars.com comes the GAZA strip, an all new comic tracking the lives of two lovable creatures, a cat and a dog with strong political views with regard to the mid-East.
Come as Falafeld & Mutzah duke it out over every day topics like recent Palestinian elections and Ariel Sharon's thong fetish.



Wednesday, January 25, 2006

Hamas Trading Cards – Catch’em all… Before they’re Killed Off!

Monday, January 23, 2006

Detainees Do Not Find Humor in Board Game Hoaxes

Guantanamo Bay - Enemy combatants being held at the United States' Camp X-ray were upset to learn today that they were the butt of yet another prank carried out by prison guards.

Reports indicate that inmates were fooled into bartering food and breathable air for Monopoly™ game pieces and reward cards.

Mohammad Hamza, a respected Taliban general, starved himself for two weeks and was startled to find that he was not, in actuality, the proud new owner of the Broadway and Park Place properties. Hamza also did not receive the $200 he was promised in exchange for bathroom breaks.

Still, many Camp X-ray prisoners refuse to believe this is a hoax. For what it's worth, Abdul Raffifi considers himself an entrepreneur. Says Raffifi, "If I sleep upside down for four more days, I will be able to afford that Pennsylvania Railroad and get myself out of this godforsaken place."

Memowars Presents: Saddam - Portrait of an Artist








This week, Memowars, in association with al Tikriti Enterprises, presents 'Saddam - Portrait of an Artist.'

*Saddam's Voice in the background - "By torturing innocent civilians, I was really trying to expose the fragility of human nature and the... how do you say it... redness of blood."*

Join us for this insider's glimpse at Saddam Hussein, the most misunderstood artist of our time. "In my opinion, Saddam's work is comparable to that of Van Gogh & Gauguin," says George McFarley, professor and chair of Harvard University's Department of Botany and Metaphysics.

'Saddam - Portrait of an Artist," is set to air this Thursday at 9 P.M., 8 P.M. central here on memowars.com.

Sunday, January 22, 2006

Hezbollah's newest rally shocks Middle East... and the World!

Saturday, January 21, 2006

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London Police Foil Baleen Bomber

LONDON - Police in England successfully prevented a Baleen whale from carrying out what would have been the country's first marine mammal-assisted suicide bombing. The animal, outfitted only with a crude IED (improvised explosive device), a week's supply of food, and a hatred for the freedoms enjoyed by dolphins, was found in the River Thames at 5:00 GMT.

After hours of interrogation, it was discovered that he was lured into Al Qaeda's sea operation division, also known as Al Quatic. Police are investigating whether this is related to the IRA's infamous 1972 Octorocket attack, which resulted in the inking of 200 Londoners.

72 Virgins & Everlasting Happiness Await YOU!



vHarmony is the East's newest weapon against the West. Designed by Afghan engineers in Kabul, vHarmony seeks to quadruple the suicide rate by appealing to the youth -- or "our future," as claimed by founding head of vHarmony Dr. Aqball Bakhshi.

vHarmony, though new in design, is founded on one of the most ancient tenets of Islam: The duty of every Muslim to attach dynamite to his body and walk amidst a crowd of infidels.

vHarmony also features the success stories and profiles of martyrs past, including Mohammad Atta, the infamous uni-testicled pilot of Flight 11.

Friday, January 20, 2006

al Qaeda Unveils New Internet 'Search' Engine...



Today, al Qaeda unveiled Jihad™, a new death engine designed by terrorists for terrorists. Jihad aims to make finding a target or sending an e-bomb as easy as 1... 2... Ka-Boom!

Jihad - It's All About Results™

Thursday, January 19, 2006

Osama's Hot New Single "It's Only a Matter of Time" Tops The Billboard Hot 100

Khatami says "No fun"


"Allah did not create man so that he could have fun. The aim of creation was for mankind to be put to the test through hardship and prayer. An Islamic regime must be serious in every field. There are no jokes in Islam. There is no humor in Islam. There is no fun in Islam. There can be no fun and joy in whatever is serious."

Ahmadinejad joins the Discovery Channel's Mythbusters



Mahmoud Ahmadinejad is scheduled to guest star in an upcoming episode of Mythbusters, an American science television program on the Discovery Channel starring Adam Savage and Jamie Hyneman, two special-effects experts who set out to test the validity of timeless myths and urban legends of popular culture.
The episode, titled "the ‘Holocaust’ – Shattering an age-old Lie" is scheduled to air in late February; The new season of Mythbusters began airing on January 11, 2006.

The Invitations have been mailed - We got ours... Did you?


Ahmadinejad has mailed his invitations for the year's most anticipated event: The Holocaust Conference, where he and his honored guests will play "myth busters."

We will notify you of guest names and itinerary of events as the story develops!

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Iraqi High Command - Where are they NOW?

Wednesday, January 18, 2006

New Isreali Prime Minister takes the oath of office

HOT Off The Press - TIME's New Cover

Nuclear Beef - It's what's for dinner

Israel's Future Leader...

Tuesday, January 17, 2006

I bet you didn't know this!

Commenting Now Open

Be you tyrant, infidel, terrorist, subversive, or hostage taker (or hostage), please feel free to comment on any or all posts.

To be fair, we have left it open for anonymous posting, so do not fear a knock from Hizboallah in the middle of the night.

Al Qaeda delivers its FINAL message - Wolf Blitzer Reports


Wolf Blitzer - "Seconds ago, the Islamic Website for Al Jazeera revealed a videotape of a blindfolded Charlie Brown, saying abductors threatened to kill him unless their demands were met. Charlie Brown, 8, of Peanuts fame, was abducted in Iraq late Monday night along with the rest of the peanuts gang by the group calling itself ‘Al-Qaeda Reloaded’. The organization is believed to be headed by Al-Qaeda chief Mohammad Abdullah Abdul-Wassef Abdulaziz Abdulnasser; identified as speaking on the tape."
*Crackling from Tape*
"My name is Mohammad Abdullah Abdul… Just call me ‘Mo’... Speak infidel…” “My name is Charlie Brown… I am an American... I want my mommie?"
*Crackling from Tape*

Wolf Blitzer - "U.S officials claim the tape shows the cruel and inhumane face of the enemy we're dealing with... emphasizing that the purported threat should be taken 'very seriously' because the posting appears to be credible and militants have used the site before. More on this story as it develops..."

Brokeback Mountain


Freedom Burns Worse than Allah's Wrath?

"Sure, let me just light this American flag and then we will go grab some McFlurry's. What? Ahmed soaked my shirt in lighter fluid?"
-Random Misanthrope

Class Cancelled


Hamas chief, Yassin, cancels Suicide Bombing 101 after accident during presentation.

Bin Laden Tape Confirms Nutnapping

"I'm not kidding..I'll roast them. In the name of Allah and Kenny Rogers, I will teach you American infidels that animated characters should never step foot on holy land! LADEN OUT!

((pauses thinking camera is off))

Heh, good job. Abdul, did you catch that?

-Osama Bin Laden

"Nutnapping" Polaroids

An Islamic Web site has just released these polaroids of the Peanuts, saying the abductors have threatened to kill, roast, and salt Charlie Brown and the Gang unless the United States agrees to remove its forces from Iraq.





















































































Latest Peanut Hostage Photos

Iran Urges Nuclear Talks - Check On It

Tehran, Iran -

"Ohh Boy you looking like you like what you see
Won’t you come over and check up on it
I’m gonna let you work up on it
Ladies let him check up on it
Watch it while he check up on it
Dip it, pop it, work it, stop it
Check on me tonight" - Ahmadinejad

Holocaust a Myth?

TEHRAN, Iran - Iran, whose president has labeled the attempt by Nazi Germany to exterminate Jews during World War II a "myth" and called for the destruction of Israel, announced Sunday it will hold a conference on the Holocaust.

Ahmadinejad - "We hope to prove that the Holocaust is nothing, but a fabrication, another farse of the Satanic Western Superpower; like freedom, democracy, and chocolate"

Did you know?

This JUST IN... Again

*Update Music Fade In*

Voiceover - We interrupt your regularly scheduled blogging for this FOX NEW Channel Update.

*Update Music Fade Out*



Female Correspondent - "Good Morning America. I am Anita Hoare, joining me is Hugh G. Rection. We interrupt your regular scheduled blogging for this update. Hugh?"

Male Correspondent - "Thanks Anita. As you may have heard America, The Peanuts, that lovable comic strip, has been taken hostage by Al Qaeda."

Female Correspondent - "Minutes ago, The Arabic-language news network Al Jazeera informed FOX NEWS of what it claims to be a new tape of Osama bin Laden, encouraging new terrorist attacks against not only America, but Americana.


Male Correspondent - "The purported tape will be authenticated, aired and reaired here on FOX NEWS Channel."

Female Correspondent - "We now return you to your regularly schedule blogging."

CNN Headlines - Nutnappings

Monday, January 16, 2006

This JUST IN...



Male correspondent - "Ladies and gentleman... This Just in..."
Female correspondent - "The War on Terror has escalated..."
Male correspondent - "We now go to senior war analyst Norman Wilson. Norm? "


Norman Wilson - "We have just found that Charlie Brown & The Peanuts Gang have been kidnapped while on a mission to entertain our troops in Iraq. It seems that this time, the terrorists have us by the nuts. More on this story as it develops..."

Just Sighted on Ebay...

Real Estate Auction...



Auctioneer - "Now... Up for grabs is this nice prime piece of real estate... Literally in the heart of the middle east...Do I hear 45 Cents?"

U.S.A. - "Too rich for my blood, (what's left of it)"

From now on...


"From now on, Western music and breathing is banned in all automobiles" - Ahmadinejad

A President for the People...


"I'm a friend of the people...by people I mean taliban...by taliban, I mean monkeys" - Ahmadinejad