This JUST IN...

Male correspondent - "Ladies and gentleman... This Just in..."
Female correspondent - "The War on Terror has escalated..."
Male correspondent - "We now go to senior war analyst Norman Wilson. Norm? "

Norman Wilson - "We have just found that Charlie Brown & The Peanuts Gang have been kidnapped while on a mission to entertain our troops in Iraq. It seems that this time, the terrorists have us by the nuts. More on this story as it develops..."